Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Girl on Girl Hate

I wish that Team Gina had made a video of this song before they broke up since it is really hard to hear the words in this clip. While I love "Rock the Like" and "Butch/Femme" (even though I'm married to a man, shhh), "Girl on Girl Crime" really spoke to me on a level that most songs don't. (And seriously, go buy it. It's a great song, from some amazing artists for $.99.)

(video after the cut)

"When I talk shit it's usually 'cause of jealousy. I don't like girls who act like they're better than me. But sometimes I might just think they're hella pretty, instead of saying so I act with insecurity."

Yeah, how many of us women folk are just a little (I'll admit it, not so little here) guilty of acting like that. You see a super hot chick at PAX wearing something even remotely revealing and think to yourself "attention whore", "slut", "probably dumb as a box of hammers without a nail in sight". Sound familiar? I know I've done it. But really, what do we know about that girl. She might be an a-sexual PhD student who feeds homeless children on the weekend while fostering lost puppies.

Are there women in the gaming community who are only doing it for attention? Probably. The sexualization of female gamers is something that irks the hell out of me, and there ARE women who are openly there only for the men. However, I think a lot of us hold females in our community to an unfair standard, believing that unless someone hides their sexuality, covers themselves in a burqa, and flashes around advanced degrees like they are free, they are somehow seeking attention and are less serious about their interests than the rest of us.

Ladies, this is not a zero sum game despite what we have been taught. That pretty girl over there? She's taking nothing away from you except possible attention, and is that really the kind of attention you want? And before you get on me for calling our community out on this, I have been both. I have been the size two model in the super sexy cosplay and I have been the bitter overweight woman who feels threatened because I am no longer what society considers attractive. I have received positive and negative attention for my looks in both situations, but I have always been the same loving, smart, caring fan of my fellow females that I am today.

What I am saying is this: Next time you see that girl in the super skimpy, but totally rocking cosplay, step back for a moment and think about what you are feeling. Could she be doing it for the attention? Maybe. But give her the benefit of the doubt before you get to know her. And if it turns out that you're (I'm) throwing "attention whore" out there because you're (I'm) jealous that you (I) don't look like that, just go up and tell the girl that she's hella pretty. I guarantee that it will mean so much more coming from you than from a guy.


  1. I totally agree with you there. It means a lot more to me what women think and say about my appearance than what men say. When we say mean things about girls in skimpy outfits, who is it really hurting?

  2. For Anime Expo several years back I totally planned to rock a Sailor Jupiter costume since Mako-chan was my favorite of the Senshi (from Sailormoon). Seriously, short schoolgirl skirt with green ankle boots? I would have hated to get crap from people because of their interpretation of the outfit.

    After all, any real fan knows that Makoto was the badass tomboy type of the senshi before the Outer Senshi came along! She was there to kick ass and take names!