Thursday, October 07, 2010

Someday the sexbot pinball machines will be among our robot overlords

There's a little pizza place in town that my boyfriend, his boss (who's a good friend) and I visit every Tuesday because we can get two calzones for 6$ (they're delicious). Every week we go in and order our calzones before heading over to their little collection of arcade games, pile of quarters in hand. They have such classics as Area 51, Bubble Bobble and pinball. I'll sometimes hop in a Bubble Bobble game when one of the boys dies a horrible death, but usually I'm content to either play pinball or whip out a game on my phone.

The pinball machine used to be a classic Popeye machine. They replaced it recently.

Meet "The Machine - Bride of Pin*Bot". She's a totally innocent robot who just wants to be a real girl. Only your love (and some nice paddle shots) can help her. Enjoy playing on/with her body!

Her robot love body.
As you score, her features turn more and more human. The first iteration of this is a pretty amazing blow up doll style "Oh" face.

"Oh" face.
Of course, as you're gaining her love and turning her into a real girl, you climb up her long gorgeous robot leg with your points. The more points you score with her, the closer you get to the jackpot!

Guess where the Jackpot is!
I failed almost immediately, and am completely disappointed in myself for not getting some hot lady robot lovin'.

Caught this gem by accident.
I have seen plenty of pinball machines in my day, and this is definitely not the first "sexy" imagery I've encountered. However, I've never seen it thrown out in such a blatant manner. Maybe it was a 90's thing? The wikipedia page on it is actually pretty interesting, and I can assure you I was not playing on "family mode."

In the comments, please feel free to come up with as many "score," "balls" and "paddle" jokes as you can.

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